PEACHTREE, Ga. – Mike, a father of two and a member of the Ku Klux Klan, recently attended his son’s first grade open house and he was outraged by what he saw.
“I was looking through the art supplies in my son’s classroom while we were waiting for the program to start and I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Mike said. “There was a giant box of crayons, like a 64-pack probably, and all of them were worn down from use. Except for one. The white one. What a travesty.”
While most would view such a discovery as a non-issue since it’s pretty much pointless to color with a white crayon, Mike saw it for what it really was: a symptom of a twisted society.
“It’s really an outrage what our society is doing to white children,” Mike said. “They are being taught to hate who they are so much that they won’t even use their race’s crayon color for fear of being branded a racist. All the other races’ crayons are being used – red, yellow, black, brown, even freaking orange for God’s sake – but not white. Nope. The white one is just sitting there all pristine and pure. Ain’t that a metaphor for the sorry state we’re in.”
When asked to speculate on the origin of the systemic anti-white bias, Mike said, “It’s mostly Obama and Hollywood’s glorification of miscegenation. But, really, Brown v. the Board of Education started us down this sorry path. Something like this never would have happened before the Supreme Court ruled that white people were the devil.”
So what’s next for Mike and his crayon crusade?
“I’m taking this straight to the school board,” Mike said. “And if that doesn’t work, I’m going straight to Trump. Because if anyone will understand where I’m coming from, it’s him. I’ve seen his Twitter. Plus, I have an easy solution to the problem: black paper. Yes, I won’t stop until every school in the country is using only black paper. Only then will the white crayon and the white race rise again!”
