At Robot Butt, we have a constant, unrelenting thirst for knowledge. Therefore, from time to time, we like to hold roundtable discussions that explore the depths of topics that have significant meaning to our lives and the world around us. Please, join us for this new roundtable as we discuss one of the oldest questions humanity has struggled with: What would make you sell your soul to the devil?
Steve: Sure, you could sell your soul to save your family or something like that, perhaps if they were trapped in the underworld, but the odds of that happening are fairly slim and I’d rather sell my soul for something cool, like unlimited pizza.
Patrick: Steve, I am a realist. I would sell my soul for a bus transfer pass. How the hell is someone going to know if I have actually turned over my soul to them?
Brian: First of all, yes, unlimited pizza would make me sell my soul to the devil.
Second, what kind of contract are we talking? Are there any stipulations? I would love to both sell my soul to the devil for a handsome reward and then catch him in a contract loophole.
Patrick: The moment you try and sell your soul, some patent troll is going to step in and take you to court.
Steve: This is the devil we’re talking about here, I imagine he has some of the best lawyers money – or the fear of eternal damnation – can buy. That being said, I think this is a lock that you’ll be in hell for eternity if you make the choice. The question is, let’s say you do sell it for pizza – do you think you’d still get to have it in hell?
Patrick: I am pretty sure hell doesn’t have pizza. However, those millennials in DC may be able to prove me wrong. They seem to really have their finger on the pulse of the known universe.
Brian: As a “millennial in DC” it is my ruling that hell has pizza, but the pizza is realllllly stale.
Steve: I imagine hell has Little Caesar’s, which you’re pretty down with at first, until about a week in when you realize that Little Caesar’s is the ONLY PIZZA YOU’LL EVER HAVE.
Patrick: Brian, you are not a millennial in DC. To my knowledge you have never tried to blow a project manager at a nonprofit. Little Caesar’s is gold.
Brian: I think I would sell my soul to the devil to forever have that “just put Gold Bond on my balls and it is all tingly” sensation.
Patrick: Gold Bond on your balls and Sriracha on your tongue.
Steve: How often have you considered selling your soul for a superpower? And don’t you find that the desire increases tenfold as you get older?
Brian: I would be happy with just having a bottomless Sriracha bottle. Is that a superpower?
Steve: It’s safe to say you could get any woman you want with that, so yeah I think I could consider that a superpower.
Patrick: I would sell my soul to have everyday be opening day.
Bronson: The soul is a sacred thing, and this whole conversation is blasphemy.
Brian: I was going to ask if there’s an opposite of superpower and just realized that would be a disability.
Bronson: Are we considering the possibility of leasing the soul, or possibly a long-term rental? Could you do a ten-year stint in hell for a couple of really good za’s?
Steve: This Man Sold His Soul for a Disability. You’ll NEVER Believe What Happened Next – a future Upworthy “article”
Patrick: Trade your soul for a wheelchair and breathing tube.
Brian: Bronson, are you talking about mortgaging your soul? If so, I like it.
Bronson: I’d definitely consider renting my soul out for a year in hell for like, $70,000. Basically, it’s like getting paid a pretty decent salary for spending a year in hell. I mean, I’ve worked some pretty rough jobs for less money. How bad could hell really be?
Patrick: Bronson, name me one “rough” job you’ve worked? Playing Roller Coaster Tycoon at an open house?
Bronson: Being friends with you has been pretty tough, and my only payment so far has been a bunch of mean jokes from you.
My God….am I already in hell? Do I have to put up with Pat for all eternity?
Steve: You have to factor in what kind of punishment would be awaiting you for that year in hell. Does a lifetime of pizza equate one year of getting your anus carved out from a hot iron rod?
Brian: Some people are into that, Steve. Different strokes.
Bronson: One man’s heaven is another man’s hell.
Steve: Thank you, Brian – I have so much to learn about tolerance.
Bronson: This really boils down to an economics question. What is the going rate of a year in hell?
I think we have to assume hell is more or less a standard “bad time” for everyone, and then you can go from there.
33 Comments
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to become big, Powerful and famous in the world.
Join us to become one of our official member today.
You shall be given an ideal chance to visit the Great Illuminati and his representative
after registrations is completed by you, no sacrifice, or human life
needed and Illuminati brotherhood brings along wealth and famous
in life, you will have a full access to eradicate poverty away from your life now.
It only a member who is been initiated into the church of Illuminati have the authority to bring any member to the church so before you contact any body, you must be link by who is already a member. Join us today and realize your dreams.
We also help out our member in protection of drugs pushing, once you become a member you
will be rich and famous for the rest of your life,
Illuminati make there member happy so i want you all to also be a member
of the Great Illuminati Brotherhood Cult.
If you are interested, Gently fill this Information to the email below
Email: illuminatipowerworldwide@gmail.com . or call +2348166407908
Full Name:
Country:
State of Origin:
AGE:
Marital Status:
Email Address:
Phone Number:
Cell Phone:
Occupation:
Home Address:
Country Currency:
Two passport photo of you or Attach scan I’D Card, Military Card or Driving License……………
THANKS!!!
for more info, contact us via Email: illuminatipowerworldwide@gmail.com . or call +2348166407908
Hello everyone reading this comment today, the great Illuminati BROTHERHOOD has give everyone the chance and opportunity to join the great ILLUMINATI kingdom, the lord father of Illuminati has create the easy way to join the Illuminati brotherhood in the world. Are you a business man or an artist,Politicians and you want to become big, Powerful and famous in the world, join us to become one of our official member today. you shall be given an ideal chance to visit the lord father and his representative after registrations is completed by you, what you need to do to become a full member of the great Illuminati is just for you to get the membership form and get some items for sacrifice but human life is not needed, Illuminati brotherhood brings along wealth and famous in life, you have a full access to eradicate poverty, hardness, frustration and fear away from your life now. So contact agent Derison Smith today at these email address:Smithderison@gmail.com or you can also add him up in your Facebook page which is deboral wyatt, or call him on his private phone number which +2348132571730.Join us today and realize your dreams come through.
Good day every one,
Are you a business man,politician,musical,student you want to be rich,powerful and famous in life and you wan too achieve your dream you can join the Illuminati cult today and become a millionaire, an instant sum of 1,000.000.00 dollars for you with a free home anywhere you choose to live in the world and also get power, influence, wealth, good position fame included with 3000 dollars monthly as a salary.
Do note:Being a member of this great society you can be whatever you wish to be and achieve you goal in life.
If you are interested contact: illumminatitemple19603@gmail.com
Mobile call +447031997554 or whatsApp us +2348063015783
Illuminati Temple World.
WELCOME TO THE GREAT ILLUMINATI FORUM: Are you a BUSINESSMAN and WOMAN, POLITICIAN, ARTIST OR ACTRESS, STUDENT and you desire WEALTH, INFLUENCE, FAMOUS, POWER AND PROTECTION and lot more join the great illuminati today, and benefits $250000 weekly and $1000000 monthly as membership blessing for joining the member of the illuminati. with this all your dreams and your heart desire can be fully accomplish, for more information contact: illumminatitemplehomeofplaece@gmail.com ,join and experience the different.
Good new to everyone, i am an one of the Agents sent by the Lord superior (Grand master) to bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the great Illuminati temple, Becoming a Member of the ILLUMINATI. your qualifications are;-Only those who can provide service for themselves, like the Politicians, Musicians, Business Man/Woman, student, i do business, I own a Construction company, and i also own one of the Biggest Electronic Appliance shop,i was once like you, me & my wife were financially down to 1 square meal a day, what kind of life was that to live, I lived in poverty until i saw an opportunity to be a member of the GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD and i took my chances and i have been a member for close to 10 years now. The higher you get the richer you become Illuminati, it makes your business grow faster than you can ever imagine, Illuminati brings out the talent in you and make you famous, as you become a member of Illuminati order you will receive 2,000,000 US DOLLARS instantly on your Bank Account, there are many more other benefits you stand to gain, so if you are interested to be a member contact me now on +2348107106668 or call our UK number,+447031912217 email [thetempleofilluminati@gmail.com] JOIN US TODAY & BECOME RICH,POWERFUL AND FAMOUS ALL YOUR LIFE.
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