Fathers across the United States have released their latest report detailing the year’s top knuckleheads. The much-anticipated Knucklehead Report was released earlier this week and is a culmination of a father-funded fact-finding mission that lasted through all of 2013.
Some of the standouts in the report included:
- the goof-offs in Congress
- that halfwit neighbor that leaves his trash cans too far out in the street
- Billy’s blockhead friends
- that scatterbrain mechanic
- the dolt that made this lawnmower
- the snake oil salesman at the muffler shop
- every pudding-brained in-law
- Tina’s meathead boyfriend
- that scab-picking nephew
- the goober at McDonald’s that spilled the fries all over the bag
- that dumb Will Ferrell guy
- those half-blind umps with their stupid replay
These findings are in line with preliminary observations made in 2012.
The report also outlines a number of recommendations to improve relations between knuckleheads and dads, including all the knuckleheads “pulling their heads out of their asses” and “trying not to say ‘like’ so much.”
Despite previous Knucklehead Report recommendations to ramp up efforts to reduce the gap between fathers and knuckleheads, “knuckleheadery, doltism, and clowning-around is at an all-time high.” The report concludes with a plea for knuckleheads to “start getting their act together.”
