A part of the What’s Up With Stuff series.
To the unintelligent and banal readers out there who don’t pick up on trends or trails of breadcrumbs: I have a confession to make – and no we won’t be delving into my past here; not this week.
No, my confession is that my editors keep asking me where I get this stuff from, and they want more. When you’ve got the golden fingers like this old bastard does, you can’t miss (unless you get the yips- I got the yips once in 1982 and didn’t lose them until the First Gulf War).
My editors keep asking me what the written version of a shock jock is, and the best I can come up with is a “smack hack, ” but that just makes me sound like a junk-head. They want to put a name on it, but Rex can’t be caged in.
Though, I’ll admit, I think I’m starting to like this job, and heck, even the interns have stopped laughing behind my back (I think). Tanner Myers is too hard to read, so far.
You see, they love my dry style and my classic Rex-isms. I was once called the Rembrandt of turning a phrase, but my response to that is, which art did he paint again?
That said, notice the clickbait title. Yes, I’ve stooped this low, and yes, I’ll probably stoop lower. My editor – or as I like to call him, “the gatekeeper” – told me that I can have a few days off in August as long as we get our page views up.
My contribution is to add some interesting, often Googled words into the titles of my pieces. The zygotes that still have something to prove here can write the hard-hitting pieces and fine examples of journalism, and I’ll rake in the sweet, sweet vacay time. Vacay is still a word, right?
The question then becomes simple: Do video games rot your teeth? The answer is probably much simpler than you think. Video games do not rot your teeth. I bet you didn’t expect stone-cold answers like that when you clicked whatever link brought you here, but that’s what we in the business call getting “Rex Told.”
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