São Paulo, Brazil – Fed up with being forced to think about the plight of the Brazilian worker, football fans in Brazil have gone on strike, protesting all the protests they’ve had to see.
“Airport workers are on strike, the subway workers threatened to strike, I’m tired of all these strikes, and I’m not going to watch soccer in peace until they stop,” says Joe Macklin, leader of the Football Fans For Striking or 3FS.
Football fans, who were merely looking for a way to forget all their troubles and focus their attention on a game, voted to call for a strike a few hours before the ceremonies were scheduled to begin. Across the globe, 3FS supporters appear to be “sick and tired” of hearing about the poverty and horrid living conditions of many of Brazil’s citizens.
“I didn’t sign up for a lesson in Marxism,” says long time Team USA fan and 3FS member Chet Manning. “If I wanted to see suffering and poor living conditions, I’d spend a weekend in New Jersey.”
FIFA issued a statement regarding the strike, in which they called upon the international community to come together and “just ignore” the working class in Brazil, so that everyone may enjoy “the beautiful game.”
“People have lived in poor conditions before and they will continue to do so,” said a government spokesman, “Anybody hear the rumor that Jennifer Lopez might perform? How exciting!”
3FS is demanding that attendees and spectators around the planet collectively put their fingers in their ears when approached by any kind of protest regarding the World Cup. There has been no bargaining as of yet, and there is no word yet on whether this will hurt attendance at the games.
