SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – Saying it’s “no big deal” and “everyone should just lighten up,” local pizza lover Adam Kenrow defended his support for the “five-hour rule” today.
“It’s great, man,” Kenrow said. “Like, if you’re firing up the old Genesis and a slice falls off your plate and hits the floor and you don’t see it for two, three hours, what’s the big deal? It’s all good.”
According to Kenrow, not only were full pieces in play, but also stray pepperonis, sausages and “big gobs of cheese.” When pressed for further comment, Kenrow reasoned, “God made dirt. Why should it hurt?”
At press time, Kenrow had grown visibly pale and was complaining of “wicked stomach pains.”
