Washington, DC – In what can only be described as “totally awesome,” something happened today that was really cool and very good for a lot of people, which inexplicably angered some other people.
After months of speculation as to whether or not this particularly cool, life-improving thing would actually happen, it happened, causing mass disapproval and the call, by some very angry people, for the resignation of some people who really didn’t have much to do with it at all.
“I’m not exactly sure why I’m upset by this cool thing. I guess you could say that I’m just so mad I’m acting irrationally,” said someone about why they were so angry about an honest-to-gosh cool thing happening. “People that I don’t know might be affected positively, but I am unable to see past my own blind rage!”
“I don’t really have a good reason as to why I’m angry, but I still feel the need to both give voice to my anger and to act irrationally,” said another person who was angry about this really cool thing.
Some time ago, this cool thing was proposed and it has met opposition from angry people for no real reason. The opposition held rallies, collected donations and did everything in their power to ensure that nothing cool would actually happen. Against these angry people’s wishes, the cool thing still happened, which in turn added to the cycle of craziness and anger.
In other news, something really bad and stupid happened and a lot of people didn’t notice. A lot of people who did notice claimed that it was actually a good thing, though.
