There’s a panda in China that is better at sex than you.
Lu Lu and his partner Zhen Zhen recently banged for an astounding and record-breaking seven minutes and 45 seconds, making Lu Lu the king of the Sichuan Giant Panda Research Centre, so much so that he has been given the nickname of “The Enduring Brother” and likely fields requests for advice from the human staff members.
Lucky for you, some sicko filmed the whole thing, so you can watch Lu Lu and Zhen Zhen’s sex tape to maybe get some tips.
The average panda sex lasts 30 seconds and five minutes, so these maniacs really made their friends Yi Bao and Jin Xin – who only made it for one minute and 20 seconds and likely had an awkward conversation afterward – look bad.
So what makes Lu Lu such a master? Have he and Zhen Zhen been studying the art of tantric sex? Is Zhen Zhen just asking for sex all day long and Lu Lu can hardly keep up? Does Lu Lu have a sidepiece he’s just not revealing, which has left him “spent?” Maybe Lu Lu’s just really good at keeping his mind focused on baseball while it’s happening. Maybe he realized that female pandas are only in heat once a year and he sure as hell wasn’t going to waste his opportunity.
Whatever it is, Lu Lu is a global hero and deservedly so.
