1. “Careless Whisper” – George Michael
Whoa! Bet you never thought George Michael would dance with cats!
2. “Hey Jude” – The Beatles
Paul really loved his childhood cat, huh?
3. “Gangster’s Paradise” – Coolio
MIND. BLOWN.
4. “…And Justice For All” – Metallica
Didn’t know this one was about cats? That’s ’cause you’re stupid!
5. “Night On Bald Mountain” – Modest Mussorgsky
Shut the fuck up! For real?!
6. “Who Let The Dogs Out?” – Baha Men
No, really, stop. I can’t do this anymore. I…I thought my journalism degree would get me further than this.
7. “I Wanna Sex You Up” – Color Me Badd
Life just keeps shoving more cocks down my throat.
8. “Happy Birthday To You” – [Public Domain]
This isn’t even writing. My life is a lie.
9. “Fuck Her Gently” – Tenacious D
I don’t even care anymore. You can all go fuck yourselves. I’m out to do some soul-searching, bitches.
