THE ISLAND OF KENJIR – Making a decree to the local Elders, Rajihara the Ancient One has commanded with the sound of many waters and thunder that virgins are to no longer be thrown into the volcanic Mt. Anuku as a sacrifice. Instead, He would prefer souls more experienced in the pleasures of the flesh who “actually know a thing or two.”
“I get the whole ‘virtue of innocence’ thing. Really, I do,” Rajihara explained in a booming voice that stripped bare the forest, and rained fire from the sky. “But you just get tired of the same old thing, and it gets repetitive having to cover the same ground over and over again. It just stops being fun, you know?”
The announcement has shocked the Elders and the community. The virgin sacrifice, traditionally called Valirna Koa, or “Prude Purge,” has been a staple of island life going back thousands of years. This upending of the centuries-old ritual guidelines has already caused panic, as well as a concern from some over the prospect of simply giving away “primo tail.”
Rajihara does not believe the new request is an undue burden, and anticipates full compliance. “I’m just asking for them to throw in a hooker every once and a while to spice things up,” He sighed, the magnitude of which decimated a small village on the other side of the island.
