DAYTON, Ohio – Beginning a Reich of any size can be a Herculean task, and that’s especially true for the thousand-year variety that infamous Nazi leader Adolf Hitler called for. That’s why one enterprising young neo-Nazi leader is calling for a “more realistic” 20-year Fourth Reich.
“While 1,000 years has a great ring to it, I think we can all agree that political tides have changed,” investment banker and ardent neo-Nazi Greg Harding said. “In today’s fast-paced electoral cycle, even a 20-year Reich would be an extraordinary accomplishment, and would still offer ample time to exterminate the untermensch and, of course, the communists.”
Harding believes the prospect of a 20-year timeline will keep the Fourth Reich from getting ahead of itself. “It would be great to go around executing minorities for hundreds of years,” he said. “But you have to know your boundaries and be reasonable about these things.”
Faced with what many see as an inevitable takeover by the Nazis, many Americans are doing their best to come to terms with the upcoming regime change. “I’m hoping the Nazis at least mix it up this time,” said Democrat Sarah Taylor. “I’ve got this Methodist neighbor that never returns stuff he borrows, and frankly I wouldn’t mind seeing him and his family dragged away in the middle of the night.”
