A few months ago, I wrote that Hillary Clinton was pulling out all the stops in her campaign by trying to seduce me.
If you thought she would let up because she locked up the Democratic nomination over Bernie Sanders, you’d be dead wrong. Of course she’s still sending me desperate, flirtatious emails. As usual, they’ve been ranging from what appear to be innocent declarations of love to angry outbursts to attempts at establishing a romantic connection through sentimental holiday wishes.
And then, in mid-May, she took things up a notch.
When a woman sends you an email with a subject line like that, you run as far away in the other direction as you can. That is a ticking time bomb, a 4,000-word explanation of why we’re perfect for each other and “Why can’t you see that? What’s wrong with you?” Nice try, Hillary.
Now, seeing as how none of her previous tactics have worked, she just went all-in and asked me out to dinner.
I hadn’t noticed!
Clinton got her staffers in on the action, too. “Look man, you don’t even have to do anything here. Just let me book your goddamn free flight to dinner with Secretary Clinton. You…you have no idea what she’ll do to us if she doesn’t get to have you.”
So despite not asking for any of this, and not responding to any of her previous efforts to devour my heart (as I imagine she’d describe it), your boy still has quite a hold on the Democratic presidential nominee.
