With Donald Trump’s latest outbreak of locker room banter, I realized, oftentimes, women don’t get to hear real locker room banter. Luckily for you, I went to my local gym and put a stethoscope up to a locker room door. Here are some of the things I heard men saying:
1. It was only 20 minutes of activity, but Julie is one hell of a runner. I think she’ll make the next Olympics.
2. Remember that woman, Georgia, from last night? She didn’t give me her phone number. I’m really glad she knew we weren’t right for each other.
3. Man, Michelle really knows her way around a computer. I really hope she gets that CTO job. She deserves it.
4. Hey bro, Marissa looked tired yesterday. I’m going to make her dinner tonight. Any suggestions? She needs a break.
5. Rachel asked me to get her tampons, and it really made me happy she trusted me to do that.
6. Debbie looks like she has a blast when she gets people to laugh. She should really consider a career as a stand-up comedian.
7. Did you hear? Jenny stopped Marcie from getting grabbed in the pussy by Donald! Good for her, he’s a real jerk.