SANTA FE – Amid the ghoulish lawn ornaments and detailed, grotesque masks lining the walls, customers shopping the local Spirit Halloween store were in for an especially horrific show Tuesday, as the manager of the store, a grown adult, emerged from behind a curtain of the makeshift store inside an abandoned Kohl’s to scare everyone.
“How did he get here?” visibly shaken customer Erika Gonzalez said. “Whatever led him to this point in his life has to be terrifying.”
The manager, wearing a garish orange vest adorned with all sorts of large buttons, awkwardly carried a large pile of rubber severed hands for restocking, dropping a few along the way and even more when he tried to pick up the first ones he dropped. He smiled and said hello as one mother whisked her children away from the horror.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” said Tony Arias. “I came here to have a little fun and get a Halloween costume. Seeing him terrorize people around the store like this…this is too much.”
At press time, the manager of the store was seen reprimanding the high school-age cashiers for not telling people to “have a spooktacular day” and walking around asking people if they needed help to the tune of blood-curdling shrieks.
