WALPOLE, N.H. – Citing a desire to get a head start due to the immense amount of information he will eventually have to cover in the wake of Donald Trump’s presidency, documentarian Ken Burns has already begun recording introductions to his future series about World War III.
“While I know a global conflict with unseen levels of destruction is now inevitable, I obviously don’t yet know the specifics,” Burns said. “So I’m recording a variety of voiceovers we can choose from at later point.”
So far, Burns has recorded pieces covering numerous possible root causes of World War III, from Donald Trump dropping a nuclear weapon on his most reviled Twitter haters to Trump simply being tricked into giving Russian president Vladimir Putin the nuclear codes. Other options include Mike Pence’s secret development of something called a “gay laser” and Chris Christie’s revolutionary revenge after his demotion to being the Trump family dog.
“I know I will also likely have to devote episodes to Trump insulting the soldiers who die in World War III battles, so those were recorded first,” Burns said.
At press time, Burns was seen escorting Tom Hanks into the recording studio to record narration about Trump’s pre-war attempt to simply deport every American.
