DAVENPORT, Iowa – Usually emotionally distant boyfriend Aaron Clark has finally begun to open up to relationship talks, but only during girlfriend Jess Stevenson’s favorite legal procedural, sources report.
Much like a night-blooming flower, Clark is 100 percent available and ready to talk between the hours of nine and ten p.m. on Wednesday nights.
“I realized that I needed to be there for Jess, and I just wasn’t doing that,” said Clark, Stevenson’s boyfriend of five months. “I’m going to get better at listening to her, and it’s easy to talk when we’re both relaxed and snuggling on the couch.”
Stevenson, a first-grade teacher, started watching the show halfway through its first season, and found that it not only gave her an in with co-workers’ discussions, but also provided her with a way to relax after a day of sticking straws into juice boxes at Cranwell Regional Charter School.
“She’s had to DVR it for the past three weeks now,” said Ms. Benson, room 4B. “It makes recess really awkward; we’re all trying not to let any spoilers slip.”
Principal Singh reported that Stevenson had taken on additional lunch duty shifts, noting, “It’s pretty difficult to hold a conversation in a room of two hundred five-to-ten-year-olds.”
Clark notes that he already feels progress has been made. “It’s so good that we’ve found a time that works for us. I think we’ve gotten better at communicating and meeting each other in the middle.”
“I’m glad that Aaron and I are finally discussing everything with each other,” said Stevenson, attempting to eat a Luna Bar as she herded straggling third-graders off of the playground. “I’ve seen the episode that they’re repeating next week, so Aaron and I can use that time to start making some serious headway.”
Sources report that Clark has since scheduled a bar outing with his friends for next Wednesday.
