WASHINGTON – As the Trump administration continues to promote isolationism, and the Republican-held Congress works to remove consumer and environmental protections, the American people expressed astonishment at just how boring the fall of America has been.
“I thought there’d be robots or aliens, or at least huge explosions. I never expected it to be an old man trying to use his cellphone,” said Ft. Worth, Texas resident Diane Burgess, 37.
This echoed the thoughts of millions of Americans who said the erosion of American values and withdrawal from the international stage has been less like an action movie, and more like a mind-numbing day at the DMV.
“The idea that the administration is run by conspiracy theorists was pretty fun for a while, but since they took office it’s just been a lot of court dates and memoranda,” said a disenchanted citizenry. “We aren’t even making children fight to the death for our amusement.”
The U.S. populace went on to express their disappointment with the current state of today’s dystopia. “I thought I’d be living in a mud hut and shooting zombies for sport by now. You know, the sweet life.”
The nation admitted it was still more than willing to hear more about President Trump getting lost in the White House, losing his temper at a head of state, or slipping on a banana peel.
