ASHEVILLE, N.C. – Subway patron Kevin Travers, 28, left the popular sandwich chain agitated Saturday after the sandwich artist on duty had a real fucking attitude about his request for a Chicken & Bacon Ranch sandwich with no additional toppings.
“Really, that’s it? No lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, green peppers?” said the Subway employee, identified only as Brad, incredulously.
“Not even some banana peppers, or maybe some spinach? So just no vegetables at all, then?” he continued, looking down at the flat, limp sandwich in disgust and sighing audibly.
“What is he, my fucking mother? I just want meat and cheese, I don’t see why he has to be such an asshole about it,” Travers said, adding that he ordered his dinner to-go just so he wouldn’t have to be in the same room as “that judgmental prick.”
“I don’t understand why anyone would choose to ruin a perfectly good sandwich with dull, flavorless vegetables,” he said. “Honestly, have you ever had a sandwich that was actually improved by the presence of lettuce?”
While stopping short of swearing off the fast food restaurant for good, Travers announced that next time he would order the Meatball Marinara – a sandwich that comes with no expectations of additional toppings.
