PARIS – On a visit to France to celebrate Bastille Day, U.S. President Donald Trump wandered away from his meeting with French president Emmanuel Macron and was found leering at the Louvre Pyramid in the courtyard of the renowned museum.
“You’re in such good shape,” he whispered to the structure, which was erected in 1989 and stands in stark contrast to the Louvre’s French Renaissance architecture. “Beautiful.” The pyramid, which is 71 feet tall and boasts sides that soar to 112 feet, was commissioned by former French President François Mitterrand during his first term. “She’s in such good physical shape,” Mr. Trump remarked to a pigeon that had meandered over from its perch on a nearby statue.
Looking the pyramid up and down, Mr. Trump sucked in his breath, created squeezing motions with his hands, and emitted a wolf whistle. Upon standing further back to get a better look, Mr. Trump lamented to the pigeon that the pyramid, wider on the bottom to retain its triangular shape, could afford to lose a few pounds. Several minutes later, Mr. Trump’s Secret Service detail surrounded the president and ushered him to a nearby sedan, but not before Mr. Trump spied a plaque bearing the name of the pyramid’s architect, I.M. Pei. “Sounds Chinese-y,” Mr. Trump brayed. “He created the global warming hoax. Sad.”
At press time, Mr. Trump could be heard inside the sedan demanding to know where the pyramid’s pussy was so he could grab it.
