1. My butthole doesn’t discriminate
2. My butthole has what most would say is a flattering haircut
3. When my butthole bleeds, I’m not happy
4. My butthole isn’t an asshole
5. There’s at least potential for someone to enjoy having sex with my butthole
6. If Jesus met my butthole, he probably wouldn’t hate it
7. My butthole has yet to hold and/or defile a tiki torch
8. Donald Trump in no way stimulates my butthole
9. My butthole makes infinitely more valuable contributions to society
