WASHINGTON – Citing the mounting stress of the job and his increasingly insatiable sweet tooth, White House aides have confirmed that President Trump has begun consuming an average of two gallons of ice cream per night with dinner.
“It started out as a manageable two scoops of ice cream while everyone else got one,” said one senior administration official. “But with each passing day, that amount has grown. Nobody else dares ask for dessert these days.”
The official noted that the president surpassed one gallon after a healthcare bill in the Senate failed for a third time, and he consumed two full gallons for the first time in September, after numerous NFL players knelt for the national anthem in solidarity and protest.
“You couldn’t fathom the slurping noises and grunting that come from this display,” said one senator who recently dined with the president. “Once they wheeled out the dessert, I never saw him take a break or even a breath. It was unsettling to say the least.”
At press time, reports indicated that troughs were being unloaded off a truck and into the White House kitchen.
