The Food and Drug Administration has issued a Halloween Candy Advisory for the following sweets and snacks. Many are believed to originate in Eastern Europe or China as deliberate attempts to confuse consumers and flood the market with inferior soundalike brands that taste even more disgusting than they sound. Obviously this is a completely inappropriate way to honor an innocent national holiday that just happens to have its origins in a witches’ Sabbath. Do NOT allow your children to ingest any of these candies and other delicacies if they should happen to receive them while trick or treating:
Gag Reflex Surprise
Three Muskrats Bar
Herpes Kisses
Yeast Bombs
E. Coli Cola
Loose Stool Caramels
Sidewalks of New York Assortment
Sneakers Bar
Cat Box Granola Mix
Sweat Tarts
