“We should have a contest as to which of the Networks, plus CNN and not including Fox, is the most dishonest, corrupt and/or distorted in its political coverage of your favorite President (me). They are all bad. Winner to receive the FAKE NEWS TROPHY!”- @realDonaldTrump
1. Yellow Starburst®
2. The sound of a fork scraping the bottom of a pot
3. Stray Band-Aids on the sidewalk
4. How Dawson Leery from Dawson’s Creek always ruined everything because he was so selfish
5. When I try to track my shipment and it says it “left the carrier facility” four days ago with no updates
6. When robocalls leave voicemails
7. When real humans leave voicemails
8. The ending of Gone Girl, which I’m still stewing over
9. The centipede that I found tangled up in my loofah once
10. The time my big toenail got ripped off
11. The tantrum Dawson threw when he found out about Pacey and Joey’s very real and game-changing romance
12. Voter suppression
13. Third-degree burns
14. All of the shooting deaths this year
15. Famine
16. Trying to guess how this imminent nuclear war might turn out
17. Ebola
18. Pathological liars who are probably mediocre at golf and only do things for their own personal gain (even if it is at the expense of the happiness of others)*
*That last one is about Donald Trump, but also Dawson, whom Donald probably admires.
