1. Paint the skin tags in your armpit hair festive Christmas colors! Now it’s like you’ve got a tree under each arm!
2. To save a bit of cash this year, only rent the top half of the Santa outfit when surprising your kids on Christmas Eve. Renting just half of the costume is cheaper, and maybe the shock of seeing a pantsless St. Nick will finally shut them up about Santa next year.
3. Let the family in on what the next year’s economy holds in store when you present to them, rather than the usual gingerbread house, the gingerbread one-bedroom apartment.
4. Can’t afford to have that mysterious fungus on your inner thighs removed by a doctor? Just yank it out yourself, as it makes for a great, cheap mistletoe substitute!
5. Who says that the Easter Bunny can’t deliver presents for Santa? That’s what friends are for! Plus, Easter Bunny costumes are quite a bit cheaper than Santa outfits this time of year.
6. 1 glass of milk + 5 tablespoons of nighttime cough syrup = homemade eggnog!
7. Hang out at the unemployment office often enough that they take pity and invite you to their office Christmas party.
