As me recently found out, me very “smart” missile. Me never knew missile could be smart. Me always thought missile were just brutal explosion machine that fell from sky to destroy building and make lot of murder happen. But now, me know that not true. Missile can be smart. And nice. And since me smart nice missile, me decide me no want kill people. Me decide me want go college instead.
Me so happy when president say me “smart.” Me not sure what president mean when he say me “smart,” but me assume he mean me excel intellectually and emotionally. Me always thought of me as have empathy and critical thinking skill. And now that me have validation of president, me finally realize me not want to have life of typical missile. Me not want be shoved in dark chamber of pressurized canister aboard U.S. Navy ship. Me not want shoot out at Mach 3 and cruise at altitude 50 meter over sea and land. Me no want use my FMU-148 detonation device and 1,000-pound high-explosive warhead to make big destruction. Me no want blood on hand.
Me want college experience. Me want sit in lecture hall. Me want take note. Me want read Plato. Me want be challenged by idea. Me want study political science and literature. Me want scary experience of having do own laundry. Of having wake up own self for class. Me want freedom from parent. Me also want go party, maybe meet girl. Me want experiment with drug and alcohol. Me might even want rush fraternity – me still unsure how me feel about Greek system in today campus life. But me know college will help me find self. And that most what me want: me want learn who me am.
Is me selfish? Me ask too much? Me understand possibility of student debt. Me know me might not like college. But me need explore. Me know, since me smart, that me not suited just be regular missile. Me not typical explosive projectile. Me want be more. Me want wife and family. Me want contribute to society. Me want leave beautiful legacy.
Me nice and me smart. President say so. And president no lie. Right?
