Hi son,
Just wanted to circle back on the card that you presented to me for Father’s Day.
Even though it was clear that you spent no more than $6 and nine minutes at a Walgreens, I was pleased (as indicated by my half-smile and hug). But I just have a couple of high-level thoughts for next year:
- The illustration of the baseball bat and glove on the front of the card has been done to death. Plus, you quit playing baseball in fifth grade to try lacrosse (then you quit that to try smoking weed. You didn’t quit that though). It hasn’t been contextually relevant in our family in years. I’d encourage you to do a deeper exploration when it comes to illustrations next year.
- Next year, punch up the copy on the front of the card. “Happy Father’s Day” doesn’t cut it. Is there any other way to say “Happy Father’s Day”? I was thinking something along the lines of, “I am grateful that you spawned me then paid for almost everything in my life until I finally found gainful employment.” It’s more direct and to the point.
- Looking at the message inside the card, I think it was lacking brand voice. You begin your message with “Hi Daddy.” I think your brand voice is much more likely to say “Hey Dad.” What has been the best practice when it has come to greetings from you before? It’s probably about time we review a new brand voice with your brand-new deeper voice.
- The rest of the copy just wasn’t as customer-centric as I would have hoped. “Happy Father’s Day. You’re the best dad in the world.” Too general. That could be written for any dad. Next time let’s try to show that we really know the customer base. Remember the three C’s for me: cooking, corgis, and cacti from Northern Arizona.
- FYI needs CTA ASAP in card. What do you want me to do after reading the card? It’s not clear.
Unfortunately, with this many mistakes your card won’t make it on the mantle this year. We need to prioritize cards that have a better strategic fit, like your sister’s. Moving the goalposts to accompany your work just isn’t possible anymore at your age. We can’t be a family that displays the work of a 22-year-old from a 23-year-old.
I’ll subtly remind you that Father’s Day is coming up next year about a week before.
– Dad