Stephen White, a 23-year-old bro, posted a Facebook status asking his peers for book recommendations. Upon realizing Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace is the only book he’s read in two years, he began drafting a status. After careful consideration, White landed on, “Book recommendations. Go!” He posted the following day during peak hours for maximum exposure.
Responses:
Cheryl White (Mom Who Loves Hudson News): Didn’t I send you the latest Dean Koontz? Did you read it already?
Rob Richards (Fraternity Brother): Have you read Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace?
Eric Nally (Phish Fan): Dang! I was gonna recommend Infinite Jest. Good taste, my guy!
Julia Blessing (High School Ex-girlfriend): Love in the Time of Cholera, The Night Circus and Water for Elephants, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, anything by John Green. I could keep going haha.
Jack Finnegan (Friend’s Sibling Referencing His High School Reading List): If you haven’t read these yet, I love To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Catcher in the Rye, and Great Gatsby.
Josh Abrams (Guy Who Describes Himself as “Socially Liberal, Fiscally Conservative”): Trump’s The Art of the Deal on audible. It’s read by the author!
Matt Pennoyer (Weed Dealer and Entrepreneur): How to Win Friends and Influence People, Outliers, War and Peace.
Grace Lee (Influencer Who Subscribes to The New Yorker for the Tote): Infinite Jest! I haven’t read it, but I’d like to recommend it.
Maggie Myers (Alternative Cousin Who Doesn’t Shave): Just Kids by Patti Smith ~*~*
Manny Bernard (“Comedian”): The Bible.
Alan Dhar (Aspiring Animator and Subscriber to Tinder Plus): Hunger Games, Ready Player One, and Divergent. I’ve only seen the movie version of each, but people tell me the books are better.
Paul Valcano (Sociopath): Atlas Shrugged. Changed my life, man.
Roger White (Dad Who Has a Hard-on for Winston Churchill): Barbarossa by Alan Clark for a detailed recount of WWII.
Michael Peña (Another “Comedian”): I’m enjoying Mein Kampf.
Kevin Peterson (Beta Cuck Contrarian): Anything by Chuck Palahniuk, Brett Easton Ellis.
Alex Redding (White SJW You’ve Muted On Facebook): Personally, I’ve made it my mission in 2018 to only read books written by WOC. Some recent highlights include Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde or Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
Blake Klein (One of Far Too Many “Comedians”): Have you heard of Twilight?
Rebecca Sears (Aunt Who Masturbates Using Her Own Tears as Lubricant): Toni Morrison, Toni Morrison, Toni Morrison! I wept so hard reading Beloved.
Gary Park (Very Lonely): Since we’ve all read Infinite Jest, might I recommend another long-ass book? Like Harry Potter or the Bible?
Jesus Christ (Preachy Carpenter): I hate reading ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
White read all of the responses and opened up the Amazon tab to purchase the recommended books. He put his selection in the shopping cart, but hesitated when it came time to purchase. He thought to himself, “lol, who am I kidding?” and pulled open a second window to the Joe Rogan Podcast merchandise website. He purchased a T-shirt dubbed “Freak City” and called it a day.