Politics

    Other Ways to Prank Betsy DeVos Besides Untying Her 163-Foot Yacht SeaQuest

    Kat Thek and Jade ShamesBy Updated:No Comments1 Min Read

    SeaQuest

    • Give the dressage horses haircuts like polo horses
    • Make her phone autocorrect “private helicopter” to “private velociraptor”
    • Put her Holland Christian High School diploma in jello
    • Leave a polar bear in her solarium
    • Substitute Faygo soda for ginger ale in her Pimm’s Cup
    • Put shaving cream on the Orlando Magic basketball team while they’re sleeping
    • Create an awards show called The Richies, honoring straight, white people of considerable wealth who have done wonderful things for other straight, white people of considerable wealth. Give her a lifetime achievement award.
    • Put Saran wrap over the door of whichever bathroom she prefers to use
    • Set her watch to the same time zone as her offshore bank
    • Convince her she has an estranged child who went to public school
    • Interview her on 60 Minutes on a subject she knows nothing about

     

     

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    Kat Thek is head chef and chief detective at Troll Cakes Bakery & Detective Agency. Her other unusual businesses - Cat Hair Pills! Used Wax Strip Fortune Telling! Inedible Arrangements! Etc.! - are on katthek.com and Instagram @kat_thek. Jade Shames is a writer, musician, and game maker living in Brooklyn, NY. He was the grand prize winner of the 2013-2014 Fresh Voices screenplay competition, and his work can be found in a number of publications, including the anthology Scary Out There (Simon & Schuster). His short film The Backward Astronomer is currently screening at film festivals around the world, and his card game Side Effects is available for purchase at pillboxgames.com.

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