GRANDMA’S DEATHBED – After a touch-and-go night in which the doctor said she might not make it, your grandmother is toughing out more day on Earth to say goodbye to her family and pass on her dying wish that you buy one of comedy site Robot Butt’s new T-shirts.
“These brand-new shirts are as soft and comfortable as I soon will be in heaven,” she said between fits of coughing and wheezing. “I know you’ll do right by me in ordering one, maybe two, of these high-quality tees.”
Your grandma’s doctor instructed the family to come into her room, where you found her talking to herself about the “lightweight polyester/cotton blend” before finally being sedated. Upon seeing you through half-closed eyes, your grandmother, who helped raise you all your life, means the world to you, and is someone you would never let down, mustered all of her remaining strength to pull up the Robot Butt store on your phone.
Reports indicate that she is beginning to move towards the light, but not before grabbing your hand, pulling you in close, and whispering in your ear that “the original script Robot Butt shirt looks great, too.”
