Argh, it is I, the Gorton’s fisherman, the guy on the fish sticks box in the freezer at your local grocery store. This weather-worn face, bright yellow raincoat, and salty accent are back to dish out advice much like your mom dishes out my pub-style beer batter cod fillets!
Today I am here to give ye advice on going back to school.
What’s that? Ye think because I’m a fisherman who wears only yellow that I don’t care about education? I’ll have ye know that I graduated from Husson University in Maine. Known for its online and in-person classes, it’s the lowest net price of any private four-year college or university in Maine that is accredited by NEASC (New England Association of Schools and Colleges).
It’s where I learned how to make sure my head was on straight for business. It’s not enough to just catch the fish but ye has to sell the fish and that takes a deep understanding of marketing and brand development.
Going back to school is a broad statement. Is your kid heading to kindergarten? Maybe she’s entering middle school. Perhaps he’s now in high school and ye keeping asking yourself things like, “Wow, how did that happen?” For one, it happened because that’s how time works! Perhaps if ye weren’t so obsessed with ye Instagram account and paid attention to yer kid, you would have been prepared for his growth.
Here’s my biggest piece of back-to-school advice: shop smarter, not harder.
I don’t float around aimlessly on the high seas. I pay attention to weather reports and the sea itself. If the boat needs to tack, I tack! I don’t force it to jibe. Why? Because that’s a fight I’m not going to win.
My time at sea is money I’m not making in the freezer section. I sell cod and salmon; I don’t sell marlin. While it would indeed jazz up my savory lemon herbed fish fillets, fishing for marlin takes both time and money. That’s money I don’t need to be spending. So when ye are shopping for back-to-school supplies, be smart about it ye dumbass!
Put in some planning time: I plan my course every time I head out onto the high seas. I make sure my bilges are clean, my masts are strong and my playlist is set to shuffle. Yes, I have a playlist. Right now I’m enjoying the fresh voice of Yonaka.
Buy only what you need. Sure, it might look appealing to buy 702 crayons in a box but do you or your child need that many crayons? NO! Of course not. Do haddock need oxygen? No. You don’t see haddock breathing oxygen just because it’s free. That would be ridiculous and kill the haddock. Be like haddock and don’t go crazy with the crayons.
Pack ye own lunches. From preschool to college, you will always save money on bringing ye own food. And use reusable containers! You think every time I go shrimping I use a new net? Don’t be ridiculous. I use the same net and I save money. Those savings are then passed off to you, the consumer. So pack ye own food!
One last thing. This is a journey. Don’t let societal pressures dictate what makes you and your child happy. Sure, you might both feel pressure to get all the awards and take all the honor classes but it’s okay if that’s not what is happening. Take it one tide at a time.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to teach a class to a school of inner harbor fish. It’s important to give back to ye community when ye can. Today’s lesson: inbound marketing.
