The Sun Also Rises: Your last Etsy search was for a “big leather wine bottle.”
The Old Man and The Sea: You like to show people your calluses to prove something about yourself, but it’s unclear what that thing is.
Men Without Women: You think Jordan Peterson makes a lot of interesting points.
A Moveable Feast: You have a blog where you talk shit about your friends.
A Farewell to Arms: You’re against the NRA but frequently give out tickets to your “gun show.”
The Phantom Tollbooth: You’re confused about who Ernest Hemingway is.
For Whom the Bell Tolls: You long for the days when a man could be both an instructor of Spanish at an American university and a specialist in demolitions and explosions.
Across the River and Into the Trees: You like to tell women at parties that Cosmopolitan Magazine originally serialized this novel in 1950, and then switch the subject to the ten things a woman can do with an ice cube to make her man horny.
Green Hills of Africa: You envy Cecil the Lion for dying a noble death.
Death in the Afternoon: You like to yell, “Olé!” as the man sticks the sword in the bull and then the bull bleeds out.
The Dangerous Summer: You like to whisper, “Oh no” as the man gets gored by the bull and everyone at the bullfight is made conscious of their own mortality.
To Have and Have Not: You have purchased To Have and Have Not, but have not actually read it.