BUCHAREST, Romania – Some people suffer from a mid-life crisis. Vampire Lord Ruthven is having a mid-millennium crisis.
The Earl of Marsden has recently become increasingly uncertain of his role in the world, as he feels society is continually asking him to be different things. “To some I represent consumption, to others sexual desire,” the undead being said. “I’ve even been told I should be a stand-in for capitalism. But how do I see myself? I’m not sure anymore.”
The competing expectations being placed on Lord Ruthven have begun to take a toll, leading the Earl to act out in attention-seeking ways. His antics have ranged from buying a sporty new coffin to dating women thirty centuries his junior. The latter turned especially embarrassing for Lord Ruthven when one of his hopeful conquests mentioned she had always thought vampires symbolized homosexuality.
“I just want to be the me I see when I look in the mirror,” Lord Ruthven said, before turning to a mirror. “Oh.”
