Dan “The Bell Jar” Schonhoff – Wide receiver, New York Giants
Barry “Rabbit’s Cry” Anderson – Middle linebacker, New England Patriots
Frank “Puny, Green, and Tart” Szydlowski – Punter, Cleveland Browns
Louis “Oval Soul-Animals” Cramer – Cornerback, Pittsburgh Steelers
Carlton “The Snowman on the Moor” McIntyre – Kicker, Houston Oilers
Chester “The Dormant Seeds of Seasons” O’Bryan – Tight end, Miami Dolphins
Terry “The Ravaged Face” Tompkins – Left guard, San Francisco 49ers
Luke “The Pool in Which Images Should Be Grand and Classical” Massey – Running back, Washington Redskins
Johnny “The Toad Guarding His Heart’s Droplet” Harrison – Running back, Baltimore Colts
Tommy “Poppies in July” Cox – Fullback, Dallas Cowboys
Brett “The Final Grotesque Joke of Death” Taylor – Quarterback, Minnesota Vikings
Lowell “Sheep in Fog” Peterson – Strong safety, Oakland Raiders
Benji “Eva Descending the Stair” Seymour – Defensive tackle, Detroit Lions
Theodore “The Bird Who Wakes with Darkness and Till Dawn Works Hard Vampiring Dry of Milk Each Great Goat Udder” Evanston, Jr. – Center, Cincinnati Bengals
Freddie “Virgin in a Tree” Miner – Outside linebacker, St. Louis Rams
