You may be thinking to yourself, “Wow, this cold front, this ‘polar vortex’ is really crazy.” You may be thinking, “People are dying out there!” You may even be thinking, “What kind of loon intentionally lives in a place where this kind of thing happens?”
I’m here to tell you, plain and simple, that it’s this kind of loon. It’s me. And I’ve said it before, so I’ll say it again: I just love living in a place with seasons, you know? Cold be damned!
Sure, Florida is warm all the time and California doesn’t get much rain, but why would you leave the Midwest when you can experience four wholly different, separately useful, and occasionally downright pleasant seasons?
Need I remind you that some of the Midwest experiences breathtaking fall foliage? Or how about the fact that you can’t truly appreciate sunshine and warmth without having been through painfully dark and cold winters? Or even more importantly, how about the fact that there are only deadly heat waves once (or at the MOST twice) per summer?
Okay, sure, you’re going to claim that other areas in the United States have “the same number of deadly heat waves so my choice to live in Chicago is really pointless in this discussion.” But to that I’ll say, “Have you ever been to North Avenue Beach on a summer weekend?” It’s overflowing with people. It’s alive. It’s probably violating health and safety codes left and right, and while it’s admittedly not as cool as South Beach, Venice Beach, Manhattan Beach, Clearwater Beach, Pacific Beach, Driftwood Beach, Fort Myers Beach, Wailea Beach, Panama City Beach, Santa Monica Beach, Waikiki Beach, or countless other beaches outside the United States, it’s still pretty dang good considering we’re 1,500 miles from an ocean!
And yes, I know that there is a death toll in the Midwest due to the cold, and that’s tragic. But also, isn’t death the ultimate motivator to feel alive? I’ve never felt so alive as when I’m staring death in the face from the comfort of my apartment (where my heating bill will triple this month), which is where I have spent the past 48 hours, refusing to go outside and thinking about how alive I am just by having that choice!
Springtime, though! Just think about how nice it’ll be when that first 65-degree day hits in March or April… or May, and everyone dusts off their best shorts, heads outside, and enjoys the still-bare trees and the about-to-bloom-flowers-which-will-then-freeze-and-die-when-it-drops-back-to-26-degrees-over-the-weekend. Sure, that teaser of warmth can be a bummer, but it’s also a harbinger of things to come, and that’s pretty cool.
I can’t even imagine living in a place where it’s just the same temperature all year long. Why would anyone want that, even if it’s San Diego where the highest monthly average high temperature and the lowest monthly average low are only 28 degrees apart? Please. I can get that in nine hours.
So there you go. Why settle for the minor leagues when you can go straight to The Show and experience truly big weather swings?
Why settle for one pleasant season when you can go through the highs and lows of life and its weather in one afternoon?
Why do anything else when you can live blissfully here in the Midwest and have an excuse to never, ever go outside ever again?