WASHINGTON – Following the presidential bids declared by Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, and Cory Booker in recent weeks, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders announced his intention to run for his life.
“What I believe… is the American people want a strong… progressive candidate to stand up to… Donald Trump in 2020,” Senator Sanders said, gasping for air. “And I am of the opinion… that my candidacy will lead to me being… executed in a Midwestern public square.”
At press time, Sanders’ hand was seen emerging from a dogpile, still clutching a “2020 Vision” political button.
