You’ve heard the story: a naive grandma sends cash to a “Nigerian prince” or “police officer” to get a huge windfall or grandchild out of jail. That’s something that only happens to senile or computer-illiterate people, though… or does it? We tend to have a “it couldn’t happen to me” mindset about these schemes, but that’s only true until it does happen to you. This is evident in recent reports showing a widespread scam that targets Americans’ desire for romantic connection.
How It Starts
Scammers gain access to potential victims by approaching them via familiar forms of communication. It could be on a dating app, in a workplace, or even through close friends. Once contact is made, victims are tricked into sharing personal information through questions like:
- “Hey, what are you up to?”
- “What kind of movies do you enjoy?”
- “How do you know Stacey?”
Using the knowledge they gain with these probing questions, scammers can manipulate their prey into a false sense of security, which is when these victims are the most vulnerable.
What They Have Access To
Once one of these scammers makes you feel comfortable, they have access to a treasure trove of knowledge, which they use to accomplish something that many experts call “romance.” While small bits of information, like your favorite ice cream flavor, or which cartoon character you had a crush on as a kid, might seem inconsequential, anyone can use this information to manipulate you into taking everything you have. A man in St. Louis reported that one scammer got him to make a woman dinner nearly three times a week for more than half a century after he told her that he preferred wearing boxers over briefs. Adjusting for inflation, that’s over $30,000 worth of food, not to mention the cost of pots, pans, and water and electric bills.
The Damage
It’s clear that many people who have been defrauded lost thousands of dollars in gifts, housing costs, and online streaming subscriptions, though much of the loss has been non-monetary. In a stunning report issued by the American Psychological Association, more than 99 percent of psychologists said that they have had patients suffering from the effects of this scam, which includes a stressful home life, anger, and even children.
In fact, more than half of all adult Americans are currently being scammed by these perpetrators, who use intimacy to infiltrate their victims’ home lives. The number of people cheated in these situations is estimated to be more than all other scams combined, but there have been little steps taken by federal or state governments to address it.
Who Is Vulnerable?
While it’s true that this scam targets those who crave human connection, what’s particularly fascinating is how widespread it is. Most scams tend to target the underprivileged or elderly, but this one in particular seems to fool people of all religions, races, ages, and genders. One troubling statistic shows what the LGBTQ community has seen a sharp increase in scam victims ever since the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in 2015. If you think you’re immune from this because you’re educated or ugly – think again!
How to Protect Yourself Against These Scams
Identifying a scammer with 100 percent accuracy is nearly impossible, but there are steps you can take to ensure that you don’t fall victim to this devastating crime. First of all, avoid anyone that shows you any sort of romantic interest, and never give out passwords or keys to your apartment to someone you’ve only known for sixty months. If a message seems suspiciously affectionate, using phrases like “I really care about you” or “Can’t wait to see you again,” delete the message immediately.
While fraudsters have become increasingly convincing, be on the watch for clearly fake names such as Todd or Elizabeth. By staying vigilant, you can save yourself the humiliation of having to share a bed or raise a family with the same person for the rest of your life.