Like most other startups, the Alliance of American Football is on unsure footing financially. So much so that the new football league missed payroll after the first week of games and needed a $250 million cash infusion from billionaire and Carolina Hurricanes owner Tom Dundon, who now essentially owns the entire league.
None of this is particularly unique for a new sports league, but what is interesting about this dodged fiasco is that when the AAF missed payroll, the league blamed it on a glitch with switching to a new administrator. That is a classic type of excuse for when you screw up royally and just can’t own up to it. And since the AAF isn’t out of troubled waters just yet, and we have plenty of experiencing in screwing up and never owning up to it, we figured we’d help for when this likely happens again.
Here are some other excuses the AAF can use the next time the league misses payroll:
- “You know how Monday is a bank holiday? Oh, you didn’t? Well it is, and you know how that can delay the mail by at least a few weeks.”
- “We just put the checks in the mail, it should be there any day now! Oh, uh oh, I’m going into a tunnel-” *click*
- “Would you believe we just switched to a new administrator for the eighth time?”
- “We’re a startup, we never explicitly said you’d be getting paid on time or even in actual dollars. This is about believing in the cause.”
- “Have you sent an invoice? We do that here.”
- “No one said you could expect to receive your salary on time. Honestly, this sounds like a you problem.”
- “The guy who signs all the checks just walked out of the office, but I know it’s the first thing on his list when he gets back.”
- “Look, this is my first day here and I don’t appreciate the aggressive attitude you’re taking with me here. I know I sound similar to the guy you talked to last time. Yes, so similar I sound the exact same. That’s-oh. Uh oh. I’m going into a tunnel-” *click*
- “I know you’re Christian Hackenberg’s agent, but you’ve seen him play. Do you think he deserves to get paid?”
