EUGENE, Ore. – TSA officials at Eugene Airport are used to dealing with boisterous travelers that want to bring an animal on a plane. But they aren’t used to what happened last Friday.
“A guy wanted to bring his chainsaw on the flight,” TSA senior official Ray Montague said. “We’ve had all manner of animals that travelers have claimed to be emotional support animals. But this is a new one.”
The passenger in question, Guy LaFavre, is a logger by trade and considers the chainsaw no mere tool. “The MS 311 Stihl chainsaw has been by my side for many a season. Its electronic ignition allows me to fire it up in an instant to cut through anything in the toughest of conditions, whether it’s an oak tree or extreme mental anguish. Not being able to fly with it is a real setback to the progress I’ve been making in my anger management.”
“We pointed out the very clear safety reasons why we couldn’t have a gas-powered chainsaw on board,” Montague said. “But I’m not sure he heard us because he kept revving the chainsaw up anytime we tried to talk to him.”
LaFavre explained that the chainsaw was a way to keep negative energy at bay, and that the revving was actually recommended by a therapist. It remains unclear where using the chainsaw to slice through the seating in the terminal factored into things.
“The gentle 110 decibel purr of the blades is relaxing,” LaFavre said. “And I thought bringing ear plugs for the rest of the passengers was a nice touch, but I can assure you, they’d find the song of the saw far more relaxing than a crying infant.”
