To the greatest fans in the world,
Next weekend is quite possibly the biggest moment of me and my brother’s career, thanks to the release of Avengers: Endgame.
This film marks the end of an unprecedented narrative mosaic spanning eleven years and eleven franchises. Many of you have been very patient with us, and for that, we are eternally in your debt. However, there has been talk of a certain bad apple who is determined to ruin everyone else’s good time by releasing spoilers online a week early. To this brave soul we say this: Try us, motherfucker.
You think we’re playing some sort of game? You think hiding behind your little computer screen will keep you safe? Heed our words, nerd. You are never safe. Me, my brother Anthony, and everyone else here at The Walt Disney Company have got your number. We will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which you have never seen before on this Earth, mark my words.
You think you could just spoil our masterpiece without consequence? Think again, shit for brains. As we speak, the Disney higher-ups are tracing your IP address and they have their top spy ready to airdrop onto your location to snuff out your pathetic little life. The last sound you hear will be the ‘Hyuk!’ of an absolute madman. So you better prepare yourself. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little stunt was about to bring upon you, maybe you would have thought twice. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price. Oh, by the way, we decided to swap out the ending for another one that honestly works much better.
SPOILER ALERT: It’s fucking awesome. Too bad you’ll never see it.
The Russo Brothers
#YoureInTheEndgameNowBitch
