When actors portray athletes in movies their believability in the roles is a crapshoot. For every Kevin Costner in Bull Durham, there’s a dozen Tim Robbins in Bull Durham. I decided to take a look at a handful of actors who portrayed high school athletes in 1980s (and one early 1990s) movies and see how they stacked up to contemporary non-movie athletes of their time.
Anthony Michael Hall: Johnny Walker, QB, Johnny B. Good (1988)
Height: 6’1”
I know, right? I would have thought 5’7”. He’s actually about average size for a quarterback.
Weight: Believe it or not, Anthony Michael Hall’s weight in 1988 isn’t readily available information on the internet. I’m going to say 170. Oh, turns out he gained thirty pounds for the role. Yep, still going with 170.
College: After receiving offers from all of the top made-up programs in the country, Johnny ends up going to State Campus.
Non-movie Equivalent: Todd Marinovich, 1987 USA Today/Parade All-American, Offensive Player of the Year.
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 250
College: University of Southern California
NFL: 1991 1st Round, pick 24 (Raiders)
Raiders: 1991-1993
Comparisons
Both Johnny Walker and Todd Marinovich were the top high school quarterback prospect in the country in 1988. Marinovich was referred to as the first test tube athlete. His parents decided before he was born that they would raise a star athlete, starting with him specially designing his mother’s diet while he was in utero. His father began to train him while he was still an infant.
Johnny Walker appeared to be able to throw a football correctly.
Outlook
Marinovich flamed out in the NFL and bounced around the Canadian Football League for a couple of years. Given the pressure and strict regimen that was imposed on him from a very early age, it’ll definitely come as a shock to you that he got into hard drugs. He only recently became clean, and is attempting to make a living as an artist.
Johnny was moderately successful at State Campus, graduating as the team’s all-time leading passer. He later sold insurance for State Farm. His girlfriend Uma Thurman left him for best friend Robert Downey Jr. after Downey won Best Actor for Chaplin in 1993.
Michael J. Fox: Scott Howard, Guard, Teen Wolf (1985)
Height: 5’4”
Weight: 130
As a wolf: Same, but hairy
College: University of Nebraska. Scott originally planned to go to UCLA, but then I found out the movie took place in Nebraska. It’s been a while since I watched it. This turned out to be a good thing for Scott, because he even as a werewolf he would have been buried on the bench at UCLA. His freshman year he played with Husker legend Dave Hoppen, helping lead the team to an NCAA tournament appearance.
Non-movie equivalent: Danny Ferry, Parade Magazine High School Player of the Year, 1985
Height: 6’10”
Weight: 230 pounds
College: Duke University, 1989 Naismith Player of the Year
NBA: #2 overall pick, 1989 – Los Angeles Clippers
Cleveland Cavaliers, 1990-2000
San Antonio Spurs, 2000-2003
Comparisons
Howard and Ferry were very different players. Ferry was a post player with shooting range. He would have fit in nicely as a stretch four in the modern NBA, similar to Kevin Love. Howard was a werewolf.
At 5’4”, Scott’s NBA ceiling is probably Nate Robinson, given their respective heights and jumping abilities. The only werewolf in NBA history is Steve Adams, who ironically is more of a Danny Ferry type.
Outlook
Danny Ferry is an NBA front office executive. He was fired as the Hawks general manager after repeating racist comments written about Luol Deng in a scouting report. He most recently worked as acting GM of the New Orleans Pelicans.
After college, Scott went into business with his father, growing their hardware store into a chain with locations across the Midwest. Scott followed fellow Nebraska sports legend Tom Osborne into politics, becoming the first werewolf Congressman. Any concerns that Nebraskans had with electing a cryptid are dispelled because he reliably voted Republican.
Vincent Larusso: Adam Banks, Center/Cake Eater,The Mighty Ducks (1992)
Height: 6’2” (as an adult)
Weight: 180 pounds
College: University of Minnesota
Non-movie equivalent: Mike York, 1996-1997 top-scoring NCAA freshman
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 185 pounds
College: Michigan State
NHL: York was drafted by the New York Rangers with the 136th overall pick in the 1997 draft.
NY Rangers, 1999-2002
Edmonton Oilers, 2002-2004
NY Islanders, 2005-2007
Philadelphia Flyers, 2007
Phoenix Coyotes, 2007-2008
Columbus Blue Jackets, 2008-2009
Comparisons
While Charlie Conway was Coach Bombay’s favorite (certainly not at all influenced by his desire to get into Charlie’s mom’s pants), Adam Banks was clearly the most talented player on the Ducks. After helping them win the league championship against the Hawks, his former team, Banks goes on to represent the United States along with the rest of the Ducks in the Goodwill Games, and then at Eden Hall Academy.
In 1991, Mike York played in the Quebec International Pee Wee Hockey Tournament with the Detroit Little Caesars. He scored 136 goals in 1993-1994 with the Detroit Compuware Ambassadors.
Outlook
Adam Banks’ senior season at Minnesota was overshadowed by teammate Brian Bonin, who won the Hobey Baker Award as the top NCAA player in 1996. Banks was drafted by the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim and helped Paul Kariya lead the Ducks to their first NHL playoffs appearance in 1997. He retired after twelve seasons, all with the Ducks, and coaches pee wee hockey in Minneapolis. Charlie Conway’s kid is on the team, and Banks refuses to play him out of spite.
Mike York made the All-Star team in 2002. He finished up his career in 2006 with the Iserlohn Roosters of the Deutsche Eishockey Liga, having never successfully completed a triple deke. He returned to Michigan State to complete his degree.
Tom Cruise: Stefen Djordjevic, Defensive Back, All the Right Moves (1983)
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 170 pounds
College: Cal Poly San Luis Obispo
Non-movie equivalent: Rod Woodson, member of the first USA Today All-USA team, 1982
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 205 pounds
College: Purdue University, All-American defensive back, 1985, 1986; All-American returner, 1986.
NFL: Woodson was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers with the 10th pick in the 1987 draft.
Pittsburgh Steelers, 1987-1996
San Francisco 49ers, 1997
Baltimore Ravens, 1998-2001
Oakland Raiders, 2002-2003
11-time Pro Bowl selection
1 Super Bowl win (Ravens)
NFL Defensive Player of the Year, 1993
NFL 75th Anniversary Team
NFL Hall of Fame, 2009
Comparisons
Stef was lucky to just miss facing Dan Marino, who was a freshman at Pitt during Stef’s freshman year playing high school football in Western Pennsylvania. Even in 1983, Stef’s height would have hurt him in college, especially since there’s no way that Tom Cruise is actually 5’7″. The most prominent person ever to come out of Cal Poly’s football program is John Madden. He likely would have had a soft spot for Stef had he made the NFL, which he most definitely did not.
Rod Woodson is one of the best defensive players in NFL history. He also did all of his own stunts.
Outlook
After his playing career ended, Woodson worked as an analyst for the NFL Network and Big Ten Network. He was the cornerbacks coach for the Oakland Raiders until 2017, when he was fired upon Jon Gruden’s hiring as head coach. He owns a car dealership in Pittsburgh.
Stef returned to Western Pennsylvania. He ended up working in the steel industry after all, but in the front office at American Pipe and Steel. He currently manages Rod Woodson’s car dealership.
