WASHINGTON – In an announcement sure to please men around the world, today a group of climate scientists released a statement saying there is still time to get the boys together for one last night out.
After what seems like an endless stream of bad news coming from the nation’s foremost climate scientists, the discovery that there’s still time to get the whole crew together and really live it up is sure to come as a much-needed reprieve.
The study clarified that though the severity of climate change is continuing to grow, and that our planet will soon be uninhabitable, it shouldn’t stop you from calling up Tim, the Miller brothers, or even Cheese, and painting the town red just like you used to before everyone got so busy.
When asked if this news meant there’d be enough time for the boys to all go down to Shenanigan’s and for Bill to finally make a move on Christie, the study’s leading researcher Dr. Weber stated, “No matter what you want to do on your night out with the boys, climate change is not going to stop you. Whether you want to fire up the old hatchback and drive down to the football stadium, stop by Mike’s parents’ place and see what that sister of his is up to these days, or just throw back a few brewskis at Sully’s, our research shows that climate change will not interfere with your plans.”
At press time, Weber clarified that everyone should probably start planning the night out now since the old stomping ground may soon be underwater, but added that he hopes this is truly a night to remember, and that Bill finally goes for it with Christie.
