1. Now that the collection agents are all dead, you’re off the hook for your student loans.
2. Traffic is, like, way down.
3. There’s plenty of time to stop and smell the roses. Just not the mutant, man-eating roses that sprang up everywhere after that accident at the genetic engineering lab.
4. Finally, it’s socially acceptable to wear bondage gear everywhere!
5. All your Disney collectible plates are sure to go up in value. They’re not making any more of them now, are they?
6. Human brains taste surprisingly good.
7. When your parents ask why you’re not working, you can tell them that it’s because the collapse of human society and the entire world economy has rendered the whole concept of employment obsolete, and not because you were too lazy to get off the couch today.
8. Radiation = superpowers. Everybody knows that.
9. Remember how all your friends made fun of you for buying physical media instead of streaming? Who’s laughing now, suckers?
10. ZOMBIE LEONARD BERNSTEIN!
11. You can stop carrying that “The end is nigh” sign around everywhere and upgrade to an “I told you so” one.
12. No need to plan for retirement – you’ll just die!
13. That trendy new starvation diet is a great way to drop a few pounds.
14. Boy bands, emojis, Fuller House… civilization was overrated anyway.
