For Her: Candles, soap, lotion, perfume (the women in your life smell bad)
For Him: Hunting gear, toolbox, shaving kit, new tie (the men in your life are going to kill you and try to change their identity to get away with it)
For the Dog: Bones, food, plush toys (this is an animal with as much personality as a toddler)
For the Cat: Scratching posts, mouse toys, tiny treats (soon the cat will be able to hunt, kill, and fend for itself, rendering you, the cat owner, useless)
For Mom: Cookware, oven mitts, a cookie-scented candle (Oh my God, the only thing you know about your mom is that she has a kitchen? Jesus Christ, call her.)
For Dad: A tie, a briefcase, a gift card (You have never spent more than twenty minutes talking to your father and we can tell. He knows what a Roth IRA is, but if he has hobbies, you’ve never seen them in action.)
For That Someone Special: Lingerie (This works for everyone. Congrats on having sex!)
For Your Friend: Concert tickets, clothes, something personalized but cheap (You’re broke but this is the only person you know super well. Why are you reading a gift guide for this? You know she needs new winter socks and a text back from Brent. You can make one of those things happen.)
For Your Grandparents: Bird feeder, homemade cookies, a phone call (They’ve had everything they’ve ever wanted already. We, the writers of this gift guide, also have no idea. We’re all 25 and want to finish this list so we can leave and be 25 at home.)
