Do you find yourself struggling to find an answer to this question: Should I have mud all over my body right now? If you have, you are not alone, for this is no easy question to answer. That’s why we, the National Association of Mud and Dirt, have created a simple yet effective list of pros and cons to guide your decision:
Pros
- It might look like you just came from playing sports, which is awesome.
- Those guys who throw mud at you every day will be miserable when they realize their mud only adds to the existing mud, rendering their mud useless.
- Mom will let you stay home and miss church (Father Peter would never tolerate that much mud).
- The sun’s harmful rays, that normally torture your sensitive skin, are no match against a thick layer of mud.
- You are less visible to birds of prey, heat-seeking missiles, and a specific race of extraterrestrial trophy hunters known as Predators.
Cons
- Having mud on you might mean you slipped and fell, which means you are uncoordinated and bad at sports.
- You kind of liked it when those guys threw mud at you.
- The Jo-Ann Fabrics has a strict no-mud policy.
- The kids at school will call you “mud pants.” Initially, you will believe they are complimenting your dirty trousers, but will quickly realize they are simply making fun of the mud in your pants.
- You are completely covered in mud.
We hope this list has brought you closer to a decision. Covering oneself in mud is no simple task, so a well-thought-out decision is most important. If you know of any family or friends also considering this lifestyle change, do not hesitate to share this guideline.
If you liked this article, don’t forget to view some of our other helpful literature, including “When and When Not to Eat Dirt” and “7 Ways to Tell If Your Spouse Is Just a Pile of Mud.”
