As the presidential race heats up, it can be hard to know which pony to bet on.
Go conservative and you might get a stable economy, but it comes at the cost of social justice. Go liberal and you might tackle inequality. But what about tax increases and the public dime? Centrism is hardly a compromise. It’s feckless fence-sitting.
Fortunately, there is a better option.
And that option is centaurism.
You know well the centaur. Its upper body is human. Its lower body is that of a horse. It emerged from the same Greek culture that brought us democracy itself. In the centaur, we find the perfect marriage of reason and passion. It’s half-sapiens, half-beast. What could be a more fitting totem for American politics in the 21st century?
The top half is the Democrat, guided by reason, compassion, conscience, and the capacity for basic self-restraint. The lower half, of course, is the Republican, tameless piston of the frontier, veritably swinging with equine confidence. The Republican hind is branded with the unbridled frenzy of the wild stallion, while the Democratic head and torso leads with measured temperance and impulse control.
In short, the centaur yokes the two dueling American identities. It preserves the civilized, enlightened, liberal mindset without sacrificing the heart, the spirit, and the feral brio of the reactionary.
The centaurist champions the free market but doesn’t neigh at climate change. The centaurist lives and breathes and snorts rugged individualism while also recognizing the fairly obvious benefits of universal healthcare. The centaurist is patriotic but doesn’t whip out a Colt .45 whenever someone says “Happy holidays.” The centaurist upholds family values while accepting that sometimes a foal can have two dads or two moms. The centaurist rides bareback but also supports a woman’s right to choose.
The world is changing. If our foundational institutions are to survive, they too must change. They must evolve. Forget the donkey and the elephant. Enter the centaur (or centaurides). In a world saddled with the horsemen of a homegrown apocalypse, it is the ultimate political animal. And with the progress being made in the field of genetic engineering, it might soon also be a literal reality.
Now, centaurism may spook some liberals. Democrats and Republicans are, after all, as different as horses and humans. But, as any horse-whisperer will tell you, they can be brought into a man-horse bond. The key to centaurism is that the top half initiates the conversation between these two alien physiologies. It is the human at the reins, as phylogenetically intended, forever steering the buck-wild dynamism at the base of Trump’s America. It’s still balls to the wall, but with metacognition.
And even if you are a hidebound Republican who has managed to read this far, you too should heed the centaur. Conservative values have buttressed many an American fundament. But without some liberalism taming your roughshod Republicanism, you’re nothing more than a horse’s ass.
The center cannot hold, but the centaur can. And will. So bet the ranch, America.
