7:52 am: Idea for breakfast: waffles, but made of the bread that was thrown out the day before.
7:53 am: Pancakes made out of the crumbs of the previously mentioned waffles.
7:54 am: Scratch that, we have eggs from a can.
7:55am: Scratch that, we have no cans.
8:19 am: What if we stacked the most bruised food on top? That way all the food will become equally bruised.
8:21 am: No one is eating the bruised food.
8:22 am: I have spray-painted all the bananas black so no one can see the bruises.
8:25 am: This strategy has not worked with the apples; I will put them in the lunch stew.
11:47 am: The apples are not pairing well with the beef stroganoff stew.
11:51 am: I have added an overwhelming amount of gruyere and called it a French onion stew.
12:01 pm: I told the children to guess what the stew was; they said clam chowder.
12:23 pm: The clam chowder has been a huge success.
1:07 pm: The PTA has scheduled an impromptu budget review.
1:45 pm: Karen Smith, PTA chair, lectured me about my “financial ignorance” for twenty minutes.
1:46 pm: Ashley Fitzsimmons interrupted Karen, taking the floor with a few other mothers.
1:50 pm: The Coalition of Wealthy Parents has praised me for making a proper dish.
1:57 pm: They have threatened to pull funding for the arts if clam chowder is not regularly served.
2:03 pm: One of the parents is a restaurant critic and has volunteered to taste the dish.
2:04 pm: She has the look on her face of someone who has just eaten apple, expecting clam.
2:08 pm: The critic said the dish has “a special crunch that is so hard to get in clam chowder.”
2:15 pm: I have been allotted 75 cents per child to “turn my usual swill into a decent meal.”
2:30 pm: As the meeting began to adjourn, multiple government officials barred us from exiting.
2:33 pm: The stew is emitting dangerous levels of radiation, and therefore we must be quarantined.
2:41 pm: The school will close for a month while we live in the gym, eating nothing but my cooking.
2:45 pm: Grocery list: eggs, milk, onions, peppers, and look for a citrus fruit that will give a nice zest.
