1. Would it be possible to hear from the specialist today?
2. We’ve been very cautious with what we spoon-feed him, but he’s still regurgitating some really nasty stuff.
3. Could we start this conference by clearing up some of the conflicting information we’ve read online?
4. He’s just irritable all the time now, which is not making it easy for the people trying to help him.
5. I’d be happy to explain that. But first, could we move the baby away from the microphone?
6. Actually, correctly assigning blame will help us fix this a lot faster and help prevent it from happening again.
7. It’s okay that your kids are here, but they should leave the room when we talk about the grown-up stuff.
8. We’re trying to keep him from putting his foot in his mouth, but it’s hard, you know?
9. Unfortunately, your policy won’t help with this.
10. This shit turned dark pretty much overnight. We’ve never seen anything like it, which is scary. On top of that, consistency has been an issue.
11. Thank FUCKING GOD for America’s dedicated health care workers! You deserve better leadership than our trainwreck of a president or his utterly unqualified son-in-law provides. It’s because of true professionals like you that I know we WILL get through this. Ashley! Don’t touch the keyboard, sweetie. Your hands are sticky.
12. Sorry, you couldn’t hear my answer because I was muted.
Answer Key
11: Pediatric telemedicine appointment
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12: Both Dr. Fauci’s inner monologue and a pediatric telemedicine appointment
