Joe Biden made the media rounds last week as part of his work-from-home campaign strategy. When faced with tough questions regarding his apprehension towards taking the Cognitive Abilities Test, something considered standard protocol for most candidates, the former Vice President was quick to retort their intrigue.
Here are Joe Biden’s top excuses for refusing the Cognitive Abilities Test:
- “There’s no way I’ll get it all in one of those tiny cups!”
- “Test? What is this… a job interview?”
- “Listen, Jack, if I have to take the test so does that rat… the one who lives in this basement I’ve been stuck in.”
- “I only use No. 3 pencils.”
- “Nobody’s crash-testing this dummy!”
- “Here’s the deal: My first-place ribbon at last year’s Scranton Ribfest should be more than satisfactory!”
- “How can you expect me to take a test when I’m still mourning Neil Peart?”
- “First it’s the lipstick. Then the Teflon. Now cognitives? How many more of us guinea pigs are you gonna kill before this lab gets shut down?”
- “I ain’t taking no test, toots. So why don’t you make like a skirt and get bent!”
- “Fine, but make sure I’m sitting next to an Asian kid.”
