Out of respect for Mr. James, my former lover and friend, and despite the pleadings of fans worldwide, I have refused to come forward publicly. That is, until now.
Of course, some of my very closest confidants knew that I was a super freak, having either witnessed or personally enjoyed my freaky exploits, but all were utterly unaware of my existence as the titular Super Freak. And because I was never explicitly named in the song, I could only assume that it was Rick’s desire for my identity to remain forever clandestine. But I can no longer live in the shadows. I am Super Freak.
Make no mistake: my decision to remain in hiding for so long was not due to embarrassment. I take considerable pride in my super freakiness. But I do have some complaints about my claim to fame. It may seem like my protests are minor quibbles or regarding trivial untruths, but nevertheless, I must set the record straight.
To begin, I was not, and have never been, a very kinky girl. I was, and remain, a very kinky woman. And despite that, or perhaps because of that, I am quite worthy of being taken home to mother. Both before and after my time with Rick, I have wooed many a mother and have left them all smitten through a carefully calibrated amount of kinkiness.
And while I may be reluctant to let your spirits down, as is my nature as a very kinky person, I do not take any responsibility for neither the height nor the nadir of your spirits. Once I am off the streets, ow girl, I may be willing to let your spirits down.
I admit, I was a fan of the boys in the band. And again, I admit that Rick was my all-time favorite. And often, when he made the move to my room, it was the right time. But I am, without question, sometimes hard to please.
Now, regarding these new-wave magazines in which, apparently, one would read about me, I am unaware of their existence and thus, I have no knowledge of my inclusion within their pages. My lawyers are currently investigating any breach of privacy in said magazines.
I took no issue with Rick’s desire to taste me every time we met. But his inclusion of that detail does feel slightly invasive.
I oft reminisce of times I anxiously awaited his arrival to room 714 as he cruised down to Chinatown in a limousine, a friend and I quickly setting the scene with incense, wine and candles. He calls it freaky, but I thought it quite romantic.
I realize I may seem ungrateful in criticizing the song at all. Surely I should be overcome with glee merely by the fact that one of the greatest musicians of all time bestowed upon me the honor of being the subject of a song. I do appreciate it. But it also resulted in forcing me to hide my true nature. But that is over now. At long last, this burden of secrecy is lifted.
I am Super Freak, and I will always be super freaky.