Images I Need to Cleanse My Timeline

A puppy whose best friend is a slumbering monkey.

Ted Cruz sobbing into his MAGA pillowcase.

Steve Kornacki finally getting some goddamn much-deserved rest. 

Two penguins taking a delightful stroll in the woods. Preferably they have silly names, like Nacho and Goat?

Donald Trump, Jr. shitting his pants while rage-tweeting about conspiracy theories, and then Kimberly Guilfoyle having to clean him up.

An incredibly burly and objectively tough-as-nails-looking man who nurses an orphan squirrel back to health. To this day, they stay in contact and maintain a healthy friendship.

Jared Kushner applying for a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car and not getting it. 

Mitch McConnell’s purple, swollen hands… but just kidding, IT’S A CAKE!!

A man singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to a donkey he’s holding like a baby.

Stephen Miller finally turning back into a bat. 

Absolute proof that animals are more human than most humans but also if you don’t cry a little at this you’re a complete monster because it’s otters holding hands while they sleep because floating away from one another would be heartbreaking.

Donald Trump hightailing it to self-exile in Moscow or Brazil or some shit, but his private getaway plane blows a tire on the runway while FBI Suburbans are in hot pursuit. 

Or… just not a tweet from him, ever the fuck again.